Selfish or Generous?

I don't think it works like that.

I am for some reason, seeing a lot of selfishness around lately.
Let me explain. It's not people taking things for themselves and not sharing. No, this is another type of selfless selfishness.
I first started to notice it in my ex, when we were still together. Now I am seeing it everywhere, I am wondering do I do that too? I hope not, and I think not.
Let me explain. A man collects bits and pieces all his life. Finally he has nowhere to put his least favourite pieces so he gives them away so he can have more room to place the pieces he likes. Every one says wow, look what he gave me , he is so generous..(my ass).
A man asks his wife if she would like to buy him a shirt, the look on her face is speaking volumes, she hesitates, he says with a smile, it's okay honey, not a problem, we should economise, or at least I should don't worry. Sorry for putting you on the spot. She then goes and buys him shoes shirt suit and as he protests he doesn't want them, she insists on buying...
A woman talks about how much she gives. She spends her time writing emails about how she receives pleasure but doesn't make time to go and see her son play a tennis match!
Am I judging? Am I being mean? Perhaps I grew up reading too much about the lives of saints. Giving for me, is something that comes from the heart. Yes I take a lot, I am a needy selfish bastard. However, when it comes to giving, I am not giving to make myself feel good. I am giving (I hope) because it is the right thing to do. Things are rough at work right now. I took a day off work so the ex could do something and I was to look after my son, She didn't do the something, but didn't tell me I didn't need to take the day. Okay so, there was also a concert we had to cancel for the same reason. I couldn't go, again because I said I would look after my son. The upshot is I get to have a brilliant time with my boy. My girlfriend refuses to go to concert alone, or with a friend, gives away tickets (not as a gift mind you, but so they don't go to waste). Now she wants me to have a row with my ex because she feels disrespected,. I go nuts. Ex arrives I tell her, I took the days holidays, she is greatful and had a nightmare day anyway so just as well....This was the expected response on my part. She is oblivious to the fact it was difficult to get the day off with 3 days notice and oblivious to anyone else being put out but herself. Why did I bother, well cause my love asked me. See there is a huge amount of giving going on, but none of it seems to be generous. That's it, there is no generousity of spirit. It's all for self gain and self profit. You can give what you like but if it is grudingly and goes against the grain and is not for the benefit of the other, why bother? I have a good friend comments here and as I understand it people give to charity to be with her. They give because they want something back. Why? Why not give just because it's the good and right thing to do? Oh yeah, because you are selfish right? Right? Or am I kidding myself ? It's like bad sex. Sex because you want it and bugger what your partner wants... .... I think...